Military Family Tips: Creating a Home Wherever Life Takes You

Many people say, “Home is where the heart is,” but that’s not what military families say. Most Army families we know tell it like it is: “Home is where the Army sends us.” And there is truth in that. For military families, it can be that simple. On the surface, the Army cuts the orders, so we pack our bags and prepare for the moving truck that will pack up all our belongings and move them hundreds – or thousands – of miles away that we will now be expected to call “home.” It sounds pretty ridiculous, right? How unlikely it would be to move around from place to place and sell it to our children as a reputable lifestyle!

But in reality, it’s so much deeper than that! It’s no small feat to take a new house, new town, new state (and sometimes even a new country!) and turn them into “home” for our children, but that’s exactly what we do each time we move. They need the consistency of warm homes and predictable routines to feel safe, and establishing these things is really pretty easy! These pro-tips are just a few that we have added to our tool belt over the years, and they work every time:

• Set the scene. Get them excited about the move through our own attitude and the way you describe it to them and to other people. Help them see the possibilities rather than the pitfalls. Spur their imaginations on to wonder what it will be like, and help them make a little to-do list of things you want to do together in your new town. For older children who have more mature emotions about it, speak authentically and honestly about your own feelings – the highs and the lows – so that they know they are not alone in how they feel, and that they aren’t the only ones being affected by it.

  
  

• See things from a child’s perspective. If family photos always hang in the hallway and that little stool always sits by Mom’s chair and the plates we got in Germany always hang in the kitchen and the bear with the blocks to tell what date it is always sits on the stairs – remember that these small things are part of what make a space “home” to them! Sometimes for little ones, recreating these same setups in new houses is all it takes to make them feel the comfort of home.

  
  

• Keep routines the same as much as possible. Don’t try to change too much at once. If a routine you had in your old house just doesn’t work as well in your new one, you’ll figure that out pretty quickly, and you figure it out together. Example: At our old house, 1 older child + 1 younger child worked together after meals to clean up both the kitchen and the dining room, which were really one big room. In our new house, that doesn’t work as well since they are two separate rooms. This became clear VERY quickly, but starting with our old routine and allowing our children to feel the same-ness of it was comforting to them at first (which is very important), but then as they lived it each day, they were able to feel a need for different-ness. They could see for themselves that doing the same thing in a new space was not working well. Then they were able to be actively involved in establishing what the new routine would be – one that makes more sense for the new space in which we now live, which is that 1 older child cleans up the kitchen while 1 younger child cleans up the dining room, each helping the other if/when needed.

  
  

• Go get a library card! This one is important for so, so many reasons. If reading together is part of your family culture, then it needs to be just as much a part of it in your new home as it was in your old one. Go check out your local library to bring home so new books (as well as old favorites) you can read while you snuggle together on the couch! This creates warm memories for everyone in the family and helps them settle into the new space with their hearts as well as their heads. Bonus tip: Your local library is one of the BEST places to find out what’s happening in your community! Jumping in and getting involved outside the home is just as important as establishing solid routines within it.

  
  

Where we live may be wherever the Army has sent us, but “home” for us is wherever we are together. We are building a family culture that is willing to face any excitement or challenge as long as we can experience it together.